I haven’t…at least if we’re talking about makeup (hair is a different story, but we’ll get to that in a second). The reason this is on my mind today is because I recently read an article in which the author’s ex-boyfriend’s affinity for natural-looking/nude makeup, and his dislike for certain nail polish colors, determined what she wore for years, and it was only after she broke up with him that she realized she could wear whatever she wanted.
I grind my teeth a little (OK, a lot) when I think about how I would have responded had I been in a similar situation as a young woman, because to a degree I’m a people pleaser, and I can see myself making those accommodations for someone I loved.
As for my hair…I dated a dude my senior year in college who was kind of an @sshole, but he was the type of guy parents loved because he totally sucked up to them and was really good on paper — smart, good grades, ambitious, on the track team, sights set on a political career — but deep down inside, he was not the nicest person.
Anyway, he had this weird controlling streak that was sneaky and subtle, and it would come out whenever he’d try to manipulate me into looking a certain way. Like, when I met him, my hair was super long (longer than it is now), and he kept making comments about how he liked short hair on girls. Then, he’d go into this story about how every time he’s ever mentioned it to other girls he dated, they’d always eventually cut their hair…for him.
BARF! Thank goodness I never cut my hair for that goof.
Another thing he did was subtly comment on how he disapproved of my clothes, and how my ripped jeans looked “sloppy” and my t-shirts were too casual and blah, blah, blah. (Weird, though, that he never picked on how I wore my makeup, right?.)
The relationship didn’t last long, and yay for me! — I never saw or heard from him again after graduation. I imagine he’s somewhere in the world with a woman who had long hair at one time but now wears it short and secretly regrets cutting it…
Have you ever dated someone who expected you to wear your makeup a certain way? Or your hair? Or your clothes?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,